Why our capacity to affect change depends on more than just our own practice

Our capacity to express ourselves honestly, vulnerable, authentic, maintain healthy boundaries, etc., is not only a result of our own practice.

Certainly, we can improve it, for instance using Nonviolent Communication (NVC).

But it’s not only up to us.

How easy it is also depends on:

👉 How well our bodies, values and perspectives match the center of gravity of our social setting,
👉 The stage of development of our realtion(s), group, or community
👉 What our formal role is, and many other things.

I was recently reminded of this by a trainer who likened it to organizations having an “immune system”.

We sometimes think that if only we master NVC, we can somehow rise above the limitations posed by the social fabric.

Things I have said or written could be taken in a way that adds to that misconception, I’m afraid.

Sure, we can use our connection skills, and remember that we are free to choose our response no matter what the world throws at us.

But we aren’t free to decide where or how the organizational or societal limts will eventually impede our effectiveness.

Sometimes they do, to the extent that renders our participation pointless. 💔

This goes not only for work places, but certainly also in social movements among allies, or in families who you’d have though would accept its members unconditionally.

This begs the question: you yourself are also part of the social fabric. So what do you do?

Do you act in ways that support multiplicity of views, perspectives, and values? Or do you try to play it safe, acting like a restraining force on who can participate?

What is your capacity to embrace diversity?

How can you expand this capacity, if you notice it's lower than what you’d enjoy?