How do you meet resistance?

“How do you handle resistance in an organisation?”

Resistance to change. Resistance to mergers. Resistance to transformations. Resistance to equality and diversity initiatives.

And so on.

I hear the question often, and my answer is probably different from what you’ll hear from others.

⭐⭐⭐

The problem isn’t the people you think are resisting — it begins the moment you ask the question.

That someone “is resisting” is an interpretation. In other words, it doesn’t describe any concrete event. It says nothing about what someone says or does.

Are you with me?

If you want to get different results, you need to become aware that this is your interpretation, and that it contributes to exactly what you don’t want.

So how do you want to do it?

For me, this has worked:

people say and do things because they have longings they’re trying to meet in the ways they know.

Sometimes their words and choices aren’t at all the ones that would have helped me. Sometimes I don’t even think it’s the best for them.

But if I want to contribute to sustainable change, I need to be genuinely curious about what they long for, that they’re trying to meet by saying no.

Could it be autonomy? Dignity? Safety? Respect?

And that’s my invitation to you.

Can you connect to the longings their “no” is trying to meet?

Not as a transaction, or as “tricks” you try on the surface to see if you can then get what you want.

You need to shift to a view where these people are your allies. They’re trying to give you important information about everything your change needs to take into account, if you want it to be truly sustainable.

You can’t afford employees whose soul has left the body, so be grateful when they push back. And make sure you’re flexible with your own favourite way, even if you hold tight to your own longing.

If you can do that, there’s space to enter an exploring conversation where you take turns to take each other’s perspective, so that together you find the strategies that meet everyone’s needs, and not just the ones you have in your sights.