Blog

• Discipline vs. motivation — a distinction that sometimes misses the point

  11 May 2025

  I see it now and then. Quotes, inspirational reels, talks: "You can't trust motivation. You need discipline." And every time, I've thought, that doesn't quite... 🤔

• How do you meet resistance?

  15 November 2024

  "How do you handle resistance in an organisation?" Resistance to change. Resistance to mergers. Resistance to transformations. Resistance to equality and diversity initiatives. And so on. I hear the question often, and my answer is probably…

• The fastest way to change as a person

  12 April 2023

  One dimension of adult development is our view of change. At one stage we may believe that change is something intellectual. We decide to change, and then we change.

• Why our capacity to affect change depends on more than just our own practice

  21 March 2023

  Our capacity to express ourselves honestly, vulnerable, authentic, maintain healthy boundaries, etc., is not only a result of our own practice. Certainly, we can improve it, for instance using Nonviolent…

• Agile Team Communication: The Power of Connection over Persuasion

  26 January 2023

  Whenever you communicate with your team, while simultaneously thinking in terms of “they have to” - Do something, or - Do something in a certain way You risk undermining the…

• What is not yet visible to you?

  25 January 2023

  We take our world view for granted. We are identified with our current subjectivity. By definition, we can’t see our perspective from another perspective. But… over time, we can. Try…

• How to get things done

  23 September 2022

  There are two basic paths to choose, when you want to stop procrastinating, change a behaviour, or see yourself get a particular task done. Forcing yourself may be our most…

• "The right words" don't exist. You exist.

  7 July 2022

  Sometimes I get questions about how to handle specific situations. "How do I get X to do Y? "How do I respond when someone says Z?" "How do I tell A that I…

• Conflicts. Can. Be. Resolved.

  28 November 2021

  It is possible to take two people, or two groups, from experiencing the deepest pain, breach of trust, and overdrawn relational accounts, to genuine reconciliation. Not on the surface, but for real. Not…

• Trust paradigm vs control paradigm at work

  27 October 2021

  The pandemic forced remote work on office workers, and as such we are now fundamentally changed. But now employers face a choice: how to handle things after the pandemic? Is remote work here to…

• How we resolved a conflict about having different amounts of money

  15 September 2021

  A friend and I had a dilemma. I wanted us to travel, eat out, and do things together that tend to cost. But my friend didn't have a big income, so she needed to be careful with her money.

• Smart vs. capable

  25 May 2021

  The link between 1. theoretically understanding how people work, and 2. being good at handling people is not as strong as we often think. Point 2 rarely follows from point 1 to any great extent.

• Become aware of your worldview — it has far-reaching consequences

  19 March 2020

  Sometimes I get the question — is it really good to dig into a particular theory of how the world works? Isn't there a risk of getting stuck in a model and missing other aspects of reality as it is?

• How your ideas about romantic love can get in the way, part #1

  28 February 2020

  One thing I've often run into when talking with people about their dating lives is a kind of belief that a genuine person-to-person meeting just happens by itself. After a successful date…

• Analyse or empathise?

  28 December 2019

  There are some people I never confide in. When I've tried to open up — perhaps tentatively — they've taken hold of my words, drifted off into their own interpretations of me…

• How to stay on top of your discomfort

  18 October 2019

  Painful feelings — anxiety, guilt, worry — can drive us to do almost anything for a little relief. Sometimes unconsciously. We may play more video games than we are really happy with…

• How to make impartiality obsolete

  12 October 2018

  Sometimes, friends share with me about the difficulties they are experiencing in their relationships. What they don't usually entrust me with is to mediate between them and their loved ones.…

• Why NVC?

  24 August 2018

  When I was a child, the world was simple. Not that I understood everything. Far from it. But adults seemed to know how the world worked. Every question had an answer — I just had to grow up…