Discipline vs. motivation — a distinction that sometimes misses the point

I see it now and then. Quotes, inspirational reels, talks: “You can’t trust motivation. You need discipline.”

And every time, I’ve thought, that doesn’t quite… 🤔

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Sure, the message sounds tempting. “Don’t wait until you’re inspired or in the mood — do it even when you don’t feel like it.”

If our pain is about not getting things done, it sounds tempting that we can, in principle, force ourselves, whether we want to or not.

The problem is that this distinction implies that we humans can do things without a driver.

In reality, we can’t do anything at all without a driver. “Discipline” itself is a form of driver.

Sure, we can believe we’re acting from discipline, not will. But being unaware of our driver doesn’t mean it isn’t there. And when we believe discipline is something radically different from “will”, we’ve moved further from understanding our own inside, and how we really work.

It might give hope in a moment — “I can always discipline myself” — but in the long run I’m worried this working hypothesis fundamentally makes it harder to gain deeper insight into how you work.

It literally says you should not “feel into things” but “just do”.

What I hear is: “Don’t listen to yourself.”

When I really want to see a difference in how I act, I think the exact opposite — I need to listen extra carefully.

What’s important to me? How do I want to act, knowing what consequences my behaviours have? Only by being honest and mindful with myself can I make deeper contact with why I want to do things, even though they’re hard.

But it’s not all black or white.

Of course we can sometimes need to “force ourselves” a little to do things we “don’t want to”. I do it all the time. But never only. I would see it as a betrayal of myself if I didn’t also try to seek contact with the motivation and the deeper meaning behind these difficult, taxing and slightly less pleasant things that I still want to see myself doing.

Did you notice? Yes — “motivation” — and yes — “want”.

Do you see now that even behind these difficult things there is a motivation and a will? You don’t just want to be aware of them. You want to be in contact with them. See where you are. See what they’re about. How else is it going to happen? It’s contact with that motivation that lets me know why I want to take that cold shower, train, or whatever it might be.

Without that motivation, there is no discipline!

And if there is, it is not life-serving. At best, we believe we’re doing it without motivation, when in reality we just have less awareness of what is actually driving us.

How do you relate to your inner driver? Do you see “discipline” and “motivation” as opposites, or as forces that work together?